Up this road just a few miles more
is where I lived my worst memories.
Gill. That’s the name of the town.
Lots of cows, brooks and a river.
An editor is trying to help me
push forward with my story.
He’s waiting for my adjustments.
Every time I open it, I’m triggered.
I’ve updated nothing. Maybe I should
drive to this spot, walk a few miles.
Maybe that’ll unlock my leash.
That’s the thing about severe
childhood trauma. You can lock it away,
compartmentalize, as always, but
when it comes down to it it’s
as alive as it always was. Fight or Flight.
I chose to fight. I’m stuck on FIGHT.
Up that road, just a little ways, holds some
of my best memories. Mother. Brothers. Life.