It’s “I get to,”
Not “I need to.”
It seems that I
need to remind myself
of this simple fact.
“To be, or not to be”
sums this up best.
-M. Taggart
“To be, or not to be, that is the question.” -William Shakespeare
Tag: Thankful
Odd Walking Thoughts
We saw what we saw and we don’t doubt. The doubters are left forcibly chasing footsteps, their own, others, and we don’t. There’s no need. Their emptiness is theirs and they’ve no way out, until the tree finds them at the end of a long walk, nearing the spring, where their shoes are removed, from one way or another, and the fingers type the toes a narrative to see. The tree, faces all around, might help.
-M. Taggart
Success!
Hey everyone!
My friend’s surgery was a success and he’s currently recovering very well. I asked him if he wanted to read the post that I wrote (on here) about him. He did want to, and has read it. He asked that I let all of you know that he appreciated the words, and that he says ‘Thank you’ to all of you who took time to send thoughts and prayers his way.
We’re very thankful that he’s in recovery-mode and that the open heart surgery was such a success. When Gavin and I finally got to the ICU unit and saw him, he was sitting up in a chair and waiting for us to walk into his room. At first they wouldn’t let Gavin in, but that didn’t last long lol. We had a friendly discussion with the ‘guard’ and it was determined that Gavin could go into the room. And then, because this is how the universe seems to work, within an hour they informed everyone that he was recovering so well that they were moving him to a different unit and boom- there were five of us all around him telling stories.
I don’t think it could have gone any better. And he deserves this- to have gone well. He lives his life with such energy (works with children) and delivers such a great point of view on life…he’s a special man and we love him. Simply put, it was great to hear his voice.
On a comic note, Gavin took over the room for a little while. He was creating jokes on the fly.
I couldn’t imagine Gavin not having been included on this trip. He’s a better traveler than most adults that I know 😉 He even brought the transformer that my friend had given him. He told my friend that he planned on giving him one of his own transformers when they visit us this summer.
My friend is on pace to be back home this Saturday, or Sunday. They had him up and walking yesterday.
Thank you, again, everyone. Being able to express what’s happening on ‘here’ has been helpful and healing. I wanted to give the update, and share the positive news.
-Matt
(I refrain from using ‘his’ name because he’s kept this emergency very quiet and I respect his wish to do so. Even though he is very well known in his community- very few people are aware of what’s happened to this point.)
Land of the Heart
They say a picture is worth a thousand words.
This one says more. I could easily write twenty thousand words concerning how I feel about this photo. Then I could add what I see, smell, and think. It could surpass twenty thousand and crawl into a novel.
I mentioned I’d be on this blog far more often. I am, and plan to continue to do so. Even if it’s to write about absolutely nothing. I love nothing. Loving nothing is just the beginning.
Today is March 1st, 2024. I woke up this morning feeling as though I could run through a brick wall.
I hope today is your day to run through a brick wall.
-Matt
Photo taken in February of 2024.
Poem
I like it about
how Gavin turns to wave to me
after I drop him off at school
I blink to capsulize
the moment, best I can
I don’t ask him to do this
I can only hope to provide
him with the same feeling
he’s given me
-M. Taggart
Huggy Wuggy- I couldn’t help myself (yea, that’s me!)
A good friend asked me to check on his house while he and his family were away.
So, I did.
I proceeded to run around the side of his property and into his back yard. Making sure to provide for multiple angles of my lunacy in motion- for their viewing pleasure.
I guess this is what happens, during winter in Maine, on a Sunday Funday!
Happy Monday everyone! I hope this helps to kick off the week in the right direction 🙂
-Matt
Wouldn’t you have done the same thing?
I can feel the darkness sliding away
I’m sorry and I’m asking for forgiveness. From all of you, and from myself.
For nearly three years, I slowly abandoned one of the reasons of my being on this Earth. To write. It’s a simple thing and I left it behind. I’m ashamed of myself. 
I lulled myself into work. I wasted my energy. I was gone often. I knew what I was doing and I didn’t stop it. When launching the company, I and my family, honestly thought it was the right thing to do. Financially, long term, wealth building, bla. bla. bla. None of that matters when you remove the essence of where your faith resides. I became empty.
I know ‘I learned’ through the process- that’s not the point. Not for me. Those lessons mean very little to me when considering that I went against my soul’s purpose. I followed a path that I thought I was supposed to walk. Ego. And, I put everything I had into it. An IT, that was purposeless. And when I realized it was pointless I still walked that dark path. I over thank when all I needed to do was listen to my soul. Something I had sharpened as a young man and managed to dull. I disgusted myself.
Just before the Lewiston, Maine, shootings something internally had shifted so strongly- I knew I was coming back. I was seeing and feeling very clearly. To the point where I knew something was desperately off. I was seeing ‘the look’…I described this in detail to family members. In fact, just hours before the shootings took place, I was on the phone with a family member talking about ‘the look’. I drove by the bar, and just a few short hours later, the tragedy took place where I had just been. My store is located a half a mile from the bar.
Days after, my decision to take my life fully back was made. Driving by the memorials that were put in place to show sympathy and love for the victims, multiple times per day, was a constant reminder, and yes, a wake up call- that life really is too short. Especially when you’re walking in the wrong direction- like I was doing.
However, finally, I’m back. I still have a few weeds trying to pull at my ankles, but weeds have never kept me down and certainly can’t stop my moving forward.
I’m not sure if I’ll ever write about what took place over the past three-plus years. Maybe in time. I’m not sure. I can best describe it like this- I was walking down a path. It slowly became dark. Everything closed in on me. Soon enough, I was alone, and still I walked into the darkness.
-Thanks for being here. To my friends on here who didn’t give up on me, thank you. I see you. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.
Matt
In January of 2023 I published 6 posts on my blog.
In January of 2024 I published 15 posts.
In February of 2023 I published 4 posts.
In February of 2024 I’ve already published 2 (this being the 2nd) and it’s only February, 3rd.
This blog, and all of my friends I’ve made along the way, are important to me. I’m going to be around much more. Much much more. Much much much much more lol
Truth
I’m lucky, thankful, and blessed to be his father.
The previous post contained the subject line of, “Anyone?”
The image was of Gavin about to turn a corner on an amusement
‘ride’ for kids. Gavin loved it. In general, it was an obstacle course.
We pulled Gavin from school this week and brought him to our
State’s largest fair. He pet all types of animals, even a MASSIVE horse
that seemed to have taken a liking to Gavin.
I’m rather sure his one day at the fair gave him enough mental stimulation
to overcome the one lost day at school ;).
Cheers everyone!
Matt
ps, thanks for hanging out!
My apologies
I’m woefully behind on catching up with everyone. I will get caught up. See you soon!
Matt
This platform and the people I’ve met have literally enriched my life.
MasticadoresUSA #Interview
Please ‘click’ on over and check out the interview!
https://masticadoresusa.wordpress.com/2021/07/17/masticadores-interview-matthew-taggart/
“M.- Since when do you write? Was there a specific moment that prompted you to start writing?
5th grade. In tiny hand writing. I still have the story. I begged my teacher to read it. He, Mr. Silverman, told me he needed to use a magnifying glass to read the words.”
https://masticadoresusa.wordpress.com/2021/07/17/masticadores-interview-matthew-taggart/
Thanks to both Juan Re Crivello, Fundador de Masticadores, and the wonderful author and editor Gabriela Marie Milton.
Have a great day!
Matt
mtaggartwriter 