Odd Walking Thoughts

Footsteps. A bitterness of breath. Pinned in the corner of the bed. Pillows on top. ruffle covers. You weren’t there. never were. heartbeat quickened and slowed with reality knowing from life- heart is strongest when abandoned by reason and left alone. The darkness wasn’t so bad. it wasn’t so bad when the sun was out and the fish were biting. Unless the bees swarmed and landed on you. It was easy to lose your fishing rod that way. It was a beautiful summer day where the sun seemed to create a humming sound which started in the ground and made its way to your ears. When you didn’t think of it, it was still there. still there. still there.

-M. Taggart
copyright 2018

Hope Tells Things

I stare at nothing-
Sometimes I
Need to go-
During my childhood
In my four walls
In my jail cell
I didn’t take myself serious until
I took myself serious
Even though I always
Took myself
Too serious
I fought everything
Had to
Blood tells truth
It’s never over
Finally though
I found something
It’s hard to explain
A wind never can be twice
what it was once

-M. Taggart

We’re not your Ken Doll

Well God. Here we are again.
The sweetness was taken away.

So fuck it.

It reminded me of when I was dating a beautifully intelligent liberal woman. Turns out she never wanted kids. Never wanted to marry. Never wanted to live in the same home. Took her two years to tell me. Her favorite saying was, you’re my man. You’re My Man.

She loved to show me off and bragged how my tie matched her outfit. Though I am color blind, she was amazed at my ability to dress. And to smile. And to make her look good.

I grew a beard. I dropped the tie.

She complained about my beard. She didn’t like it. Said it didn’t match her outfit. I said I’m not your Ken Doll. I’ll find someone who does.

And I did.

Fucking Cheers.

-M. Taggart

odd walking thoughts – time

The brook rambled on. Pushing forward, begging the boy to continue. The boy wanted to adventure further. Though the sun had started to dip just below the tree line, he wasn’t afraid. He wondered if he had enough time. The boy listened to a voice whisper from above. ‘If we placed time into a bucket with water and soap, what do you believe might happen to the bubbles? Two options. The bubbles would become gone instantaneously because time would have run out. Or, the bubbles would last forever because time granted it so.’ The boy didn’t move. Heart pounding thinking of time. ‘What if I move now? What will happen?’  -M. Taggart copyright 2017

More Than Chance

watch the day grow with its green grass begging attention-
the ground, having swallowed some, urges for more
the New England birds are listening- waiting for approval
all the while one sits, alone, listening back
with a simple understanding-

now finally feeling the first
breeze of autumn air flirting with his skin
that brings him a sensation brimming with tears- he thinks out loud
‘Go ahead. Tell life it can’t.’

**
-M. Taggart
copyright 2017
Feel free to share.
photo taken by myself 9/17/17

Gill GY

Odd Walking Thoughts

If you want help, I’ll help. What the fuck. myat myat. What the fuck does that mean. myat. We’re here and not. An afternoon turned long, with the drinks and the smoke. It had been a long while since this happened. So we sit and talk about a word and how that word is. A man sits on his chair, on the porch, he lights a cigar; the cigar made smoke and he watched that smoke.

-M. Taggart

A Purposeful Life – Fiction

Written by Matt Taggart aka -M. Taggart

Copyright 2016

A Purposeful Life – Fiction

 

And the children were happy because they loved their uncle and love was a smile.  He reached lower to ruffle each of their heads.  His nephew ran after his twin sister through the doorway leading into the living room and both were now gone.  Only the sounds of their footsteps racing upstairs were left for him.

He was alone.  His brother and wife had already said goodbye and were also upstairs.  Now, all that was left was to open the closet door, find his jacket, and leave.

Hanging on hooks, on the back of the closet door, were coats with little hoods that had animal ears.  On the closet floor were tiny boots.  He told himself not to think about it, but it was too late and he’d already started.  He reached out and touched a red checkered coat that belonged to his nephew.

No, he thought.  This is their happiness and it isn’t right to think of this now.  He closed the front door behind him, walked down the porch steps, and into the driveway.  He opened the door to his truck and got in.

Opening the windows, feeling the wind, and listening to music while he drove didn’t help.  He turned the radio off.  The winding New Hampshire road led him through farm land.  Cow pastures and corn fields were on either side of him.  Beyond the fields was woodland leading to a deeper forest.  Maybe he ought to stop his truck and walk in as deeply as he could and not come back for a long while or ever.  It seemed it was now always like this.  Each time he visited his brother- to see family, he was forced to remember and now it was overwhelming and he couldn’t not think of it.

It was difficult for him to look forward to his empty studio apartment containing walls which mocked each of his thoughts.  He would pace his small apartment and view the same cracks each time he passed them as not to tip the balance one way or the other.  Then he’d sit on his one chair he owned and read.  Sometimes this would help.  Other times it would only open him more to what he’d been trying to escape.  He was reminded that scars of this nature won’t heal with any one word from any one mouth and most likely won’t heal at all.  No matter how many words he’ll hear or read.

He knew deeply he needed change.  The cow pastures on the winding road wanted him to settle here, with them all, but he couldn’t.  He continued to drive, although he wasn’t truly in this moment.  He was nearly already pacing in his studio wondering which Hemingway story to read to find peace.  He wouldn’t think of it though, he told himself.  He’d only try and think of how they had smiled with love and try to learn it all again.  The sun was bright.  His mind split while trying to give permission to live with purpose.

 

I invite you to learn about my self published book.

https://mtaggartwriter.wordpress.com/my-book/

Or you can skip directly to the amazon page and read the reviews.

Thank you for reading.

Matt