On Self Reflection

Timeless humanity and our perception of this. That is what I study. That is what I write. To include the walking positives, and the walking negatives. I try and peel away my internal hurdles to better see the world around me. When I meet a person I lean on the positives, now by natural sate of mind, and so often I notice possible new friends leaning on the negatives. Is this the best we have, humanity?

For me, it started with large amounts of self reflection. I lived alone for a number of years and paced my studio apartment walls endlessly. Until I bought a kayak. I floated on rivers, streams, ponds and lakes, alone, and then with friends and family. Someone recently asked me, “Was that depression? Being alone all the time on the river?” No. It was needed and a blessing.

When I was a child I knew how to run wildly among the ferns and pound the banking of the brook until I broke into the water, with or without shoes, and it was pure bliss. The sunshine, the leaves above me, the awareness of my surroundings. Somehow much of that was taken. I’m partly to blame. Growing older lead me to things that never mattered to me, but somehow I pretended that they did. Until I finally found the water and the aloneness again.

It was during this time that I learned one of my ‘secrets’ I cannot share. I can only hope many of you find your own version of this. This is where my faith is stored and why my confidence is that of a beautifully happy child. I know something. It was given to me as a gift and I see it everywhere I look. In each piece of wind, each hand shake, and in every face.

I hope you all have the best Independence Day possible.

Matt

Failing at Writing With Confidence

A few nights ago I attempted to write a song for a local band. I failed. Even while writing it, I knew it was no good. The moments leading up to the attempt were good. The passion, the piercing thoughts, but the writing of the thoughts didn’t produce quality. There was nothing in the song that felt alive.

I text my friend, the vocalist in his band, and told him I had tried and failed. I laughed and even enjoyed the feeling of the failure. I’ve never been afraid to fail. To not try at all would be the true failure. I’ll try again. I have confidence I can write a song. Even while writing poorly I had confidence that I could do better. That’s the thing about life. To know something that nobody else knows and to understand it completely and to finally make it be what you knew it could be. I’ve never written a song before. I still haven’t. But, I will.

I hope your day treats you well,

Matt

View my published work here:

https://mtaggartwriter.wordpress.com/my-book/

Poem – To Be

I believe in the rush of a golden sunrise;
first the tips of the evergreens brighten, along
with the oaks and the maples that are tall and full
of wisdom, then slowly climbing its way down
along the horizon until finally reaching earth’s
padded forest floor where I stand waiting to be
among the showering brilliance of light with its
warmth and comfort, baiting me to accept what
the day may bring, or what I might make of it,
and willingly with a comfortable confidence, I do.

-M. Taggart

 

Odd Walking Thoughts

She trampled and ran along feeling tall ferns; green and narrow at the tops, sending her palms into realization of being. She smiled as she ran. Her mother asked that she not run to the brook, but that’s where she was going and where she was now. “Go on little thought and be what you were before.” She said to the babbling water. A frog hopped near and asked, “What was it, it was not now, before?” She picked a yellow flower, placed it near the frog to enjoy, turned and said her hello while walking away.

-M. Taggart