Here’s the song! Just a Captain

My brother, Chris, yet again knocked it out of the park by capturing this incredible song while it was playing live on the radio. Thank you, Chris!

Miss you, Dad. What a gift it is to listen to this gem. And to all of my WP friends out there who’ve taken a moment to express kindness concerning my Father’s passing, thank you. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.

That’s my old man singing and playing the guitar. He wrote the song.

Matt

What an amazing talent, Dad, I should have told you more often.

My Father’s song to be played on the Radio! Tonight! And you can listen…

‘Just a Captain’ to be played on the Radio tonight! This is a song that can break me to pieces when I listen to it alone at night. The song has deep meaning and memories for myself, my brother, and family members.

My father was a talented musician. In the early 1970’s he once shared the stage with a budding group named Aerosmith. My father wrote, sang, and played guitar in numerous bands all over New England.

His song, ‘Just a Captain’ will be played tonight 4/29/21 at 6:45 PM EST on Lazer 99.3 out of East Longmeadow, MA.

If you’d like to listen to the song live you can stream it via the radio station website here:
(Just click the ‘Listen Live’ link located on the top right of their website)

https://lazer993.com/?fbclid=IwAR1ENgLo7o8A-PR9N2QUljhRZMiril-1RlElU2gqiNp4M36Ex2U7AEbu6_g

I’ll be listening! This is a large moment for my family. Special thanks to my brother, Chris, who contacted the radio station and shared the song with them. Chris also shared a bit of Dad’s life story with them. It turns out they liked the story and the song.

Keep in mind that my Father wrote this song in the mid-to late 70’s and the quality of the recording is of that time period. Either way, in my opinion, it sounds incredible.

Cheers everyone!

Matt

Thank you, WP Family.

My Dad would have been 66 today. It’s been a tough few days leading up to this. The emotions snuck up on me. I didn’t expect it to be like this. At night I’ve been sitting on our back deck looking at the stars waiting for him to show himself. Sometimes I play his music. I don’t always handle that too well.

I took Gavin fishing this past weekend. He met an adorable little girl who was bird watching with her mother. Within minutes they were talking and it didn’t take long before Gavin announced to them that his Grandfather died. My father was amazing with Gavin. Which, for me, was healing to see. When I was Gavin’s age my father wasn’t part of our family unit.

Things change.

Thanks everyone, for the digital support and friendship. I consider of number of you friends. Even if only through these online channels, you are great people. I’m thankful for that and I’m thankful for WP. One of the bright spots for me (concerning the writing world) was Tara and her accepting a short story of mine into a wonderful horror anthology that she edited and published. Tara, I appreciate you. I still can’t find the motivation to submit any work and you were able to get that unstuck. I know I can ‘get there’ again, but I guess not yet.

So, I think I’ll take myself fishing today and see if I can find Dad.

Matt

I’m alive!

I came out of that surgery like a sling shot! Wide awake and wanting all the crackers they could bring me. “Would you like water or ginger ale?”

“Both.” I sat up and was ready to run. I could have easily driven home. Going under isn’t always fun. Thoughts creep in. Are these the last faces I’ll see? I don’t want to leave my family over an arm. Alone. Covid regulations.

They gave me a block in my neck which has paralyzed my left arm. I feel like Wesley in The Princess Bride. I can wiggle my fingers.

This is fun though! I enjoy new scars and love new mornings.

Matt

I’d rather lift an artist up than crush their dreams.

I admire artists who have the talent and skills to sketch, paint, and draw. I don’t have the ability to do any of those things. For me, it’s a pleasure to view the creations of others.

And to think of an artist being told, in some form or another, that their art isn’t valuable…well that pisses me off. And that’s what happened to my friend, Melissa.

Please, jump on over to Melissa’s blog for me and check out her incredible image of a face with its watching, caring, deep set eyes, and let her know how valuable her art is. I can’t stand seeing someone put down when sharing their expressions with the world.

Here’s a link to the painting (scroll down to the end of the post)

https://melissalafontaineblog.wordpress.com/2020/05/04/status-report/

I hope you all have a good day,

Matt

Straight from the heart

Have fun with your life, or someone else will.

I live my life a very particular way. As a child I learned how blocks of time could be stolen by others. Others with negative agendas. It was up to me to learn to remove these toxic peoples from my life. I prefer a pinch of sunshine in my water in the morning, no matter how many toxic individuals cross my path. If you are dealing with toxicity, remove it. Simply walk away, cut them off, and move on. Find a support system for yourself, such as others who have experienced similar scenarios, and speak out-loud the abuses you experienced. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are worth it. Because you are. And please, go have some fun!

Cheers,

Matt

This Christmas

A smile can hide all the hurt in the world-
A caring question from the right person

Will set them free

-M. Taggart

Please. This Christmas, if you become aware that someone is struggling, ask them a question such as, ‘Do you need me to listen?’ And then..just listen. Say nothing. It isn’t your hurt. It’s theirs. Or ask them if you can sit with them. Don’t drag them further down by pointing out they have an attitude when it’s the happiest day of the year. Because that part is a lie and they will only use the truth to further distance themselves.

Cheers.

Matt

One Strong Megan

I almost lost my wife. Last Tuesday Megan stayed home from work. Just before noon I heard my name called from upstairs. Followed by the sound of Megan landing on the bathroom floor. I was downstairs feeding Gavin his lunch.

Megan’s head was in between the toilet and the shower. She was just opening her eyes. Her breathing was highly elevated. She was perspiring heavily. I started asking basic questions. She wasn’t able to focus her eyes. From my point of view, Megan did not know who I was.

I flat lined emotionally. Everything slowed down. I had my cell phone in my hand while asking Megan, “Would you like an ambulance?” I was calling regardless of her answer. She was pregnant. We found out the previous Friday night that the pregnancy was ectopic. Monday morning she had a follow up with her doctor to confirm what the emergency room told her Friday night. Her doctor gave her two shots of metho, told her she might feel cramping, but that she’d be able to go to work on Tuesday.

There I squatted, on Tuesday, pushing the hair from my wife’s face. “Yes, she’s starting to come to. Yes, she know’s who she is. No her color seems alright. (I am color blind.) Hunni, they are telling me to tell you that help is on the way. Ma’am, I need to run downstairs and get my son out of his high chair. He’ll tip it over. Yes, I’ll be fast and I’ll come back up to be with Megan.” Thank God Megan is strong.

The doctor was wrong. The worst possible situation was happening. Megan had suffered a rupture and was bleeding internally.

“Be a good boy, Gavin.” I had just placed Gavin in his nursery area. I ran back upstairs.

“Ma’am I can hear the sirens, I’m going to let you go.”

“Megan, you’re going to be O.K. The ambulance is outside. I’ll be right back. I need to open the door for them. -Yes, please come in. She’s directly up the stairs and straight into the bathroom.- Gavin, Mommy is going to be OK. Please don’t cry. Please don’t cry.”

I called Megan’s sister while the ambulance drove away. ‘Get to the Hospital. Call me as soon as you know if she’ll need surgery.”

Megan was rushed into emergency surgery. She was bleeding so badly they were literally watching her stomach rise. Her blood pressure was becoming close to even. I arrived at the hospital too late. I stood in line to be told where she was. Her sister appeared and told me they couldn’t wait any longer. They didn’t know I was standing in line at the front desk. No cell reception.

The surgeon, Lillian, saved my wife’s life. Lillian was, and is amazing. “Mr. Taggart, she suffered internal damage. The pregnancy ruptured. She lost 1.3 liters of blood. She bled into her abdomen. There was other damage too. Would you like to see the pictures. We had no choice. We believe we did the right thing.”

My wife was dying on our bathroom floor. I am still flat-lined emotionally. Megan finally is home and resting. I am so thankful. I am so thankful. She has a long recovery in front of her. She won’t be returning to work until after Christmas. She can’t lift over ten pounds for six weeks. She can’t lift our son. She can’t rock our son. This has stolen a portion of her life. She has been afraid to sleep for fear of not waking up. When she does sleep she has nightmares. I love my wife. Seeing the hurt this has placed on my wife is something I may not forgive.

Her pregnancy hormones were 31k at her doctors office. The cut off for the medicine administered to my wife is 5k.

This never should have happened.

After Megan’s surgery Megan fainted in the bathroom. Two nurses held her in place until a team of nurses helped bring her back to her bed. I stood watching. Arms folded. Useless. Straight faced. Upset, for what my wife was being forced to endure. Megan was anemic and now needed a blood transfusion. After her surgery we were told they tried to remove all of the blood that had bled into her abdomen, but that it was impossible to do. The remaining blood would slowly be absorbed. However, the process would be painful. Blood is an irritant when placed where it ought not be. Megan struggled to move for a number days.

Family arrived from numerous states to help. Help support us. Help watch Gavin so I could sleep next to Megan at the hospital. This event surrendered us, placed us in a position of hope and sadness. It effected our entire family structure and friends.

Now though, as we near Christmas, we are thankful. I am focusing on the positive. Megan will be home with us. She can read to Gavin. She can sit with Gavin and play with dinosaurs. She can tell him she loves him and give him kisses. But please Gavin, no jumping on Mommy. Lets just be happy that you have your mother. The thought of Gavin growing up without Megan is too devastating for me to process.

The night we brought Megan home, I said to myself ‘my head closed today.’ And the repeating started. There’s ONE person who reads my writing who knows what that means. That was the closest I came. I’m flat emotionally and that’s where I need to be for just a bit longer. Until then we’ll drive after the sun goes down and enjoy showing Gavin the Christmas lights. We’ll drive on the dirt roads and look for dino’s in the forest. We’ll watch Christmas movies. We’ll place Gavin next to Mommy and let the cuddles begin. It’s time to build memories.

I said I almost lost my wife. Megan was too strong to let that happen.

Gavin

photo (71)

 

summer maine

Megan and I