poem / short story

My father passed on October 14, 2020.
I’ve put off writing. Something he himself
loved. My parents were divorced when I was two.
My earliest memories are not good.
I remember the phone call my brother and
I received, which stands as the pivotal
hardship to hamper my father’s talents to the
point of failure. Not that his creativity was a failure.
Rather that his determination to break through
dimmed. I may have been twelve, or so, years old.
My mother answered. She called for Chris and then
held the cordless phone toward us and said, “It’s for you.
It’s your Dad.” Chris looked at me and said, “Uncle Darrell
is dead.” Our uncle had lived with my father and his wife
for roughly 3-years. My father asked him to move out.
Lack of productivity concerning finding
a job and motivation to live well. My father gave his love,
and his home, to his brother long enough, he believed, and
it was time. A few months later Uncle Darrel hung himself
outside a three story building in position for morning traffic.
My father told us that he felt his brother’s soul go through him.
My father, very slowly, stopped trying. His talent landed him
on stage playing guitar with Aerosmith as a very young man.
It’s possible everything seemed so very easy to him with his gifts.
But it wasn’t easy. He had children. Hardship after hardship found
him and somehow I became published multiple times while my
father had not. Yet, he was the master story teller. I can’t tell
stories. I haven’t the ability. But when I sit to write it’s there.
I shut the writing off on purpose. To read is to think and to write
is to feel. Feeling is an easy thing. And while I don’t need permission
to live my life, I feel too much lately to write. Anyway, that’s what I
tell myself as I drink too much and step forward every day toward
a success I never saw coming as I call upon my father more now
than ever.

-M. Taggart

Love you, Dad.

37 thoughts on “poem / short story

  1. I think being a father is so much more important than playing with Aerosmith, your father made the better choice. Suicide is so hard on the survivors, I think he knows now that his brother’s choice wasn’t his fault. Death is hard only for the living, I believe your father is at peace now.

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    • My father was removed from my life at the age of two. I didn’t see him consistently for a number of years. He made good choices and he made bad choices either way I still love him very much for gave him for the bad choices long ago

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Matt, my heart goes out to you. Not a day has gone by where I have not thought of you, your family, and your dad after I knew he wasn’t doing well. Many long-distance hugs to you all. Every good parent hopes their children will become greater than they were. To leave a legacy and let them step upon it. You are your own man just as much as you are your father’s son just as much as you are your son’s father. May peace and light guide you always.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Thinking of you Matt as you feel, process, and sit in this passage of life. Wishing you peace and strength. Your words and voice are clear and beautiful in expressing paradox and sadness. I am sorry for the loss of your father.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. What a moving and heart-felt piece. I lost my father three years ago and I didn’t feel too affected at the time. But the missing builds up as the reality that you will not see that person again sinks in and I miss him and think of him more as time passes. Looking forward to reading more of your work, stay safe. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m so very sorry for the loss of your father. I appreciate the thoughts and feelings you have shared in your post. Grief can be such a strange process for us. It seems to unfold overtime and visits lots of places. My genuine care is with you as you navigate this process.

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