The best way to talk to a survivor is to listen. I believe this with my soul.
If you’ve crawled out from the mud of an abuser you are not alone. While you felt alone and may still, you are not. That was what they wanted you to feel to protect their abuse from being discovered. You have a voice. Use it. Internally, or written as a diary to yourself, or on a platform such as what I’m doing now. Speak of your abuse out loud and it becomes real to the world, and to the abuser. Stop protecting them. You no longer need to keep their secrets. Seek others who understand your pain and speak to a therapist who can give you tools you’ll need to make you a healthier you. You deserve all of this. It was never your fault. Research F.O.G. and set boundaries for any Flying Monkeys that may still be in your life, or go no contact. Do whatever YOU need to do for you. No longer for them. Abusers will use control tactics and manipulation to keep you silent. I know this. I was you. And now I’m me. We are not alone. They cannot break us. They tried and failed. You will not fail. While the mud from crawling may linger, you will wash it off. And when their excuses flood your mind from multiple players in the game of manipulation- Give them one response and walk away. There’s No Excuse For Abuse.