My family is riddled with suicide
I myself am not suicidal
Quite the opposite. I love life.
In fact for much of my life I’ve experienced
Jealousy from others over my ability
To be happy in terrible situations
And unfortunately I’ve been forced to live
through a few extra ordinarily bad situations
But that’s OK. I learned to enjoy watching leaves drop
And how to find solace in the darkness of my eyelids
Nothing is too large for me to handle
My confidence, I’m forced to shade, yet people still see
And it bothers them
And so be it
I was the one ready for the midnight phone call
When he said he’d taken the pills
With the alcohol and that he’d be dead soon
I was the one on the phone when the police
entered his home with the paramedics
Listening to him scream for them to leave
I was the one who calmed him
The one that walked his mind to the ambulance
to thank the police and EMTs for trying to
let him live
I called the hospital they were taking him to
I was on the phone with their personnel in the
Emergency room while he was being wheeled in
‘Yes, we’ll have a psychiatrist sent in as soon
as they empty his stomach. Thank you for this
information.’ I had to tell them things he would
not have. The root of his weakness.
I don’t know why these things happen
I know that I am blessed because these moments
are never too large for me.
He is now happily married and an amazing father
And one of my favorite people on this Earth
I told him two years before he tried committing suicide
that he was going to try to end his life
So when the phone rang and I saw the number
I was ready
Because I’ve already lost too many family members
this way
So no, I am not suicidal, but I write about death and suicide
because I know it well and I know its pace
and the path it takes
I am not afraid of death
I am concerned with the process which leads to death
I think to die well matters
And if you haven’t found your absolute truth of
how this all works
Well, I hope you do
Because I know beyond doubt
That we are not alone
-M. Taggart
Thanks for reading. This wasn’t easy to write.
The words which are difficult, can be most important ones.
Good poem from the heart. Appreciated.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. I think I needed to hear this.
LikeLiked by 2 people
This is nicely written. Your emotion is literally pouring and I am touched. I love this, very much so.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Comments like this make putting myself out there worth it. I appreciate your comment. Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome. You definitely deserve all the praise, dear.
LikeLike
Thank you. Thank you for reading
LikeLike
I apologize for the spelling errors. I wrote this in a matter of minutes and clicked publish. I’ve since tried to clean it up.
LikeLike
You told them things he would of told them,only certain people can dig that deep Matt,I’m glad it ended in the way it did….writing is another form of healing,you know too
Your a good man Matt,I can hear in your words As Sheldon Yoursly
LikeLike
Man I’d get along with you so well in person!
LikeLiked by 1 person
God dam it Matt
I got to figure out
A way to do it
We’d keep each other
In stitches
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hearing your experiences, I’m reminded of something I’ve noticed and been curious about. We all encounter hardships or losses. Some of us seem to be dragged down by them while others of us get jolted further alive. While I happily choose living more fully with each bump, I haven’t yet found a way to reach or encourage those who use their events to add to their sense of suffering.
Your words seem like one way to invite in that courage or openness.
Thank you. 🙏🏼
Vincent
LikeLiked by 2 people
I believe I am here for specific reasons. One of them is to write while giving a path to the other side of trauma. You completely picked up on that. It is by design. It was a pleasure reading your comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes! This is truly wonderful! Thank you sharing it…. it’s deep.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hello, and thank you
LikeLiked by 1 person
very straight to the point…as usually.
well done and I love the positive-advice-given-right-to-your-face-ending 🙂
💕💕
LikeLike
Thank you. And thank you for the positive comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
💕💕👋
LikeLike
reminds me of 13 reasons why. everything effects everything
LikeLike
Is that any good? I’ve never seen it. And yea.. cause and effect
LikeLiked by 1 person
yes; its very good that it does, honestly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Amazing write-up!
LikeLike
Thank you
LikeLiked by 1 person
I loved this, and I am sorry. Seems all too common anymore, people feeling they can’t go on anymore. I am glad he is alright now and doing better.
LikeLike
He’s doing incredible. He and his young family. There has been much suicide in my family. It’s sad. It’s affecting us very directly
LikeLiked by 1 person
Always keep hope, I say!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your unshaken belief in your ability is inspiring. Thank you for this read
LikeLike
[…] via Overcome Hardship, lead, and live well. — mtaggartwriter […]
LikeLike