Parenting

I sit my two year old son, Gavin, on my lap just after he bumps his head on the coffee table in the living room. I tell him, ‘Gavin, you need to be careful of your head. You need what’s inside your skull. You don’t yet understand just how important it is to protect what you have. Love you buddy.’

Gavin then jumps from my lap, grabs a Dino, and makes a loud roaring sound. And off he goes. I know that Gavin doesn’t fully understand what I’m telling him. But what I believe he feels is a caring tone. We’ve (Megan and I) repeated this hundreds of times. If not thousands. We’re teaching him to care for himself. We’re teaching him to love himself. Something I didn’t learn to do until my mid thirties.

I made a decision before Gavin was born to forgo the growth of my career to be the care giver to my son during the week. A decision I know to be the correct one for myself and my family. The best parenting advice in the world comes down to two words. Be there. My career, which I built, can be built again. The one chance I have to be the best father possible, is now.

As I continue to observe Gavin’s growth and development I often think of children who do not have a guardian that’s acting in their best interest. I think of guardians who hit. Who scream. Who sexual and mentally abuse children. I hope you bump into these words if you are among that ilk. It’s you. It’s not the child. It’s you and you need help. Stop hitting. Stop screaming. Stop abusing and turn yourself in. You won’t. You’re too weak. It’s your weakness that owns you and you aren’t intelligent enough to know what to do with it.

If you are a child that somehow reads these words. It’s not your fault. It never was. It never will be. This isn’t a promise for you to keep- to protect them any longer. Turn them in. They are killing you.

If you are a parent or guardian that suspects something has affected your child, ask them. Right now. Do not wait. If you don’t ask, no one will. NO ONE.

Abuse of a child runs rampant in all countries. All societies. If you are an adult that witnesses abuse, step in. That very moment. That child may never have another chance.

It’s 4:30 AM and I’m shivering while writing this. My son just woke up, upset, and needing attention. Megan or myself is always there for him. With endless, us. I wish every child had this. Unfortunately I know this to not be the case.

Enjoy your coffee.

Matt

 

 

37 thoughts on “Parenting

  1. The exact reason behind such behavior can’t be explained by anyone. Torments from their own past can be one of the top 5 reason but continuing on the tradition will not bring peace in life and mind of the affected person.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hello Matt, thank you for speaking out and representing manhood as a parent It’s So Beautiful To Know men are being Hands-On and protecting your family and teaching their children right from wrong. We need more good men to speak out I truly enjoyed reading this post.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think of this issue so often. We have two biological children but we intend to adopt and foster several more when we get a bigger house. It breaks my heart to think of all of the children in care who need a family and have had such a tough start in life. And those who are being abused and neglected and the care system are unaware of. Utterly heartbreaking. X

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  4. I chose to quit my job and leave my career after I had my daughter , and my husband works 7 days a week so that I can stay home with our now 2 kids .It can be hard on both of us, but I will never regret putting them first and being able to say I was always here .Your son will always have these memories of you being there for him.

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  5. I enjoyed reading your post very much. I am a new Mum, my daughter is currently five months old and I always want to be there for her. Children are so innocent and fragile and all we can do is do our best to be there for them every step of the way. My other half works, but he loves our little girl so much and as soon as he’s home he’s there changing her and gigging with her and cuddling her. Every child needs this kind of love and affection. I know some people say that you can spoil a child with too many cuddles, in my eyes that’s utter rubbish. Children need to know they are loved and looked after!!

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    • Utter Rubbish is correct! IMO an infant needs as much positive support from BOTH parents as possible. There is no go back button. I read your post about your little one transitioning in the bedtime routine. Best of luck to you all and thank you for the read and comment. Cheers.

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      • That is so very true. I can’t even remember my life before Edith now… Thankyou very much for the luck and the likes and inspiring writing from a commited Father.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. :_( Thank you for encouraging good parenting. The world would be a better place if only all parents were what you described – “Megan or myself is always there for him. With endless, us.” Children NEED that envelopment while they are learning how to be the best people they can be.

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